The Sunshine State may be home to the happiest place on earth, but is it really even that great? We guarantee you won't be stopping in for a quick visit after you see these! Share with friends and warn them before they book a trip down south.
Too. Much. Sun.
Seriously, how can you get anything done with that glare?
The View Sucks
Blue ocean, white, sandy beaches? Yawn.
Nothing Is Real
Fantasy, magic and the joy of imagination just run wild? Looks like I’ll never get to these expense reports.
Forget Having A Good Meal
Fresh fruit, Cuban sandwiches, all the seafood you can eat? Ugh.
Grabbing A Decent Drink Is Impossible
With mojitos, margaritas, and 24/7 beer at your fingertips how are you supposed to chose just one?
The Wildlife Is Beyond Boring
Endangered species, 750-acre zoos, and Sea World? May as well go bird watching.
People Are Way Too Relaxed
How are we supposed to turn up when everyone is constantly lounging around?
The Nightlife Closes Early
…. in the morning. Do these people ever sleep?!
The Weather Is A Disaster
Sunny and 80 degrees in February? Yikes.
The Sunsets Leave A Lot To Be Desired
Like I need to explain further.
The Beaches Will Leave You Speechless
I mean, what is this?!
There’s Barely Any Music Scene
Tom Petty, Iron & Wine, Diplo, Pitbull, Jimmy Buffet, and dozens of small venues for up-and comers? Snore.
There’s No Good College Teams
All you have are the U, Gators, Seminoles, Bulls and Knights? Jeeze.
Or A Decent Pro Team
Three championships? Weak.
The Art Scene Is Dull, Dull, Dull
Only thousands of artists, gallery owners and private buyers gather here for Miami Art Week. Small turnout, amiright?
Forget Culture Or Diversity
With places like Little Havana and Little Haiti looks like you'll never see the world...
January Is Really A Dark Time
Better put on another layer... of sunscreen.
No One Is Really That Interesting
Where's the Dos XX guy when you need him?
Everyone Drives Terrible Cars
If you're thinking of the environment at least.
You Constantly Have To Replace Your Shoes
Because flip flops just don't last like they used to.
Every House Looks The Same
Everyone has the pink, aqua, yellow-scheme going on. Com'on people!
Everyone Is Too Good-Looking
I mean, wouldn't you feel intimidated by this guy at the beach?
Serious Language Barriers
Looks like I'll be frequenting places with numbered meals.
Everyone Is Stuck In The Past
With historical spots like the Fountain of Youth in St. Augustine and the Kennedy Center in Cape Canaveral it's easy to understand this place has a pretty dull history, right?
There Aren't Any Real Trees
We all know palm trees are in a league of their own.
You'll Never Be Able To Keep Up On Your Golf Game
With 75 public clubs and 1,300 courses, looks like you better sign up for some lessons. Hope you bought some icy hot for your shoulders.
You'll Eat The Same Thing Over And Over
Ugh, more fresh oranges?!
The Coastline Never Ends
With 8,426 miles of shoreline, Florida has the longest coastline in the country. Guess you'll constantly be driving to beaches... talk about a chore.
Forget About Going On A Nice Nature Walk
Looks like you'll be hiking through the pristine national parks, or riding in a glass-bottom boat across Biscayne National Park.
You Constantly Have To Put The Top Down
Again, WTH with all this sunshine.
The Coffee Will Kick Your Ass
THIS must be why everything is open till 5 a.m.
This Is A Normal View From Inside Your House
Colorful birds always chirping around? Gosh, keep it down!
Things Are Really Pretty Modest
No shoes, no shirt, no problem.
Nothing Is Super Unique
There are people from just about everywhere in the country, and world living in Florida. Whether you're from the Northeast, the Midwest, or even Texas chances are you'll always be able to find someone--and something--that reminds you of home.
This Song Is Constantly Stuck In Your Head
Bienvenido a Miami!