Pour the wine and cut the turkey, the holiday season is officially here! Sure, it's a joyous time of the year, filled with great food, tons of parties, and all the family time you could ever want, but with all those awesome perks come a few downers.
If your family starts to make you tweak with stress by the end of turkey day, you're not alone. Before you lose it on your in-laws, cool off with this list of sassy one-liners you can keep to yourself or mutter out loud to release some of that good ol' holiday tension.
Share with friends who feel your pain!
When Your Mother-In-Law Insults Your “Clumpy” Mashed Potatoes
Kill em' with kindness, girlfriend.
When Your Dad Kindly Reminds You How Old You Are
When Conservative Family Members Corner You To Talk Politics
Now is not the time to negotiate a peace treaty.
When Your Mom Is About To Lose It Cooking For Your Newly-Vegan Sibling
You're responsible for diffusing this situation before the Tofurkey suffers a horrible fate.
When Your Brothers Don’t Understand How On Trend Your New Hair Style Is
Read a magazine.
When Someone Suggests Waking Up For A Turkey Trot On Thanksgiving Morning
Clearly they're delusional.
For When Your Aunt Decides To Get Critical Of Your Life Decisions
Might want to mutter this one.
And When Liquid Courage Fuels Your Uncle To Ask...
Sometimes the only way to answer is with another question.
If Anyone Decides To Comment On Your Singleness
Reassure them you're not lonely.
When Your Little Cousins Give You Too. Much. Sass.
Since when did your 5-year-old niece get the right to make fun of your play skills?
When Your Mom Breaks Out Family Photos To Share With Your New BF
You're too fabulous to rekindle the past. Distance yourself, dodge all ex-boyfriend conversations.
When The Family Friend Is Invited Over In Attempt To "Have You Meet A Nice Boy"
No time for this.
When There Are Too Many Cooks In The Kitchen
This face exemplifies the phrase "get out."
When Your Sister Wears Leggings To The Dinner Table
If I have to wear real pants so do you.
When Your Creepy Step-Dad Goes For A Kiss On The Cheek
Master your best bob-and-weave here.
When Mom Realizes You Forgot To Grab Sweet Potatoes From The Store
Clutch that cocktail and take cover.
When Someone Suggests Lining Up For Black Friday Sales After Dinner
Stand in the cold for more than 12 hours? Pass.